i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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