I think scott just propositioned me for sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
