it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
