i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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