Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
