I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
