i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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