I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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