I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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