Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
