i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
