I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
