I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
