so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
