so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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