Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
