Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I currently don't understand fingers.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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