Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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