he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
