I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
