is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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