he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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