its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
