Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
