i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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