And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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