I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
