My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
