it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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