Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
are you so shy because you have an std?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
