I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
