I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
