the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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