Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
