i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
