Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
