Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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