The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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