It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
