I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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