Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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