dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
