I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
