My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
