No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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