I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
