So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
