I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is wine microwaveable?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
