Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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