No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
