i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
