I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
