I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
