i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
