I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
