I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
