By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
