I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
