Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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