So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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