I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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