Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize