Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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