So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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