just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
