3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I love you.
Bad choice
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