he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
