Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
