I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Naked Twister starts at high noon
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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