I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
