So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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