woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
