Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
