I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
