I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just pee around me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
