best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
