You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
